silensy: (Ohana means family)
When you see this, quote Leo McGarry

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"

I have a huge and wonderfully close family but more than that, I truly believe that we live in an era when it really is about the family we make for ourselves. The people that we choose, the ones who come through, the ones we call in the middle of the night.

This year has been hard. It's been the next thing to impossible. Christmas shopping is a constant reminder that there's one less gift to buy. I see so many things that would be perfect for Victoria and it's always just a few seconds before I remember why I don't have anything for her yet.

I don't have any nutshell revelations to follow that up. My feelings are still messy and unresolved. There's no movie-style inspiring narrative that results or even a Hallmark 'go hug your family'.

I'm grateful for the family I have - the one I was born to and the one I've been fortunate enough to build. That's got to be enough.

Merry Christmas, for those who celebrate. Love and Peace to you all.
silensy: (Thinky Thoughts // Pensive)

...I feel so much better now.

It's all gone, like someone stopped pounding me in the head with a hammer. I didn't even know the hammer was there. Why did I let someone pound me in a hammer all that time? What in hell was I thinking? Why did I think any of that made sense?

Once you're out of the system, it makes no sense at all. None of the carrots they dangled before you mean anything, and you start to truly comprehend just how much stress you were under. You see things you never would have believed while you were in the system. And the relief is greater than you ever could have imagined while you were enmeshed.

From How to keep someone with you forever by Issendai

The worst part of these systems, I think, is that you can fall into them over and over again. It's the same reason you don't remember how much falling and breaking your arm hurt when you were 8. You'd never get on a bike again if you did.



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December 2011

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